Desertion
by Gohanroxme
Summary: "You're doing it again." It isn't the voice that startles her; it's the disapproval present. Yoruichi tenses, however her stride does not waver. "Doing what, exactly?" "Acting like I'm going to die before the night is over." "You may as well be..."/ Desertion, all of the frustration that Sui-Feng shouted at her that day- she- she gets it now. Oneshot, R&R, YoruSoi


Desertion: Yoruichi/Suì Fēng- She gets it now.

_A/N: Lol, seme Suì-chan, anyone? Or at least a partially seme Suì Fēng? Damn, title sucks, btw._

Sometimes, she comes to visit, standing at their front door in her haori with an equally imposing expression, one that suggests business, however they all know what she's here for.

Yoruichi is always the first one to the door, still skidding to a halt and perhaps too excited, nevertheless smiling and smiling and smiling at the shorter girl before her, who offers her own, brief one, accompanied with a bow.

"Good evening, Yoruichi-sama."

The Shihouin hates formalities, but this . . . this sight brings back warm memories, fuzzy feelings, fondness. She misses this, honestly.

"Evening, Suì-Fēng."

And the Onmitsukido commander straightens instantly, perhaps because she hears how Yoruichi's tone is void of the mischief, lacking the cheekiness, which is instead replaced with something of doting . . . longing.

Yoruichi doesn't care to hide it, that she misses this girl, since she should know. She wants her to know how her heart aches when she's gone, gone back to the Soul Society for six months before she comes to see her again . . . .

"Come on inside." She takes her hand and Suì Fēng complies, that sweet blush blooming across her nose. "You're just in time for dinner."

Once indoors, Yoruichi leads their guest to the dining area, where Kisuke and Tessai are already seated on cushions around the low table. Where Jinta and Ururu are, she doesn't care to know.

Their fingers are still intertwined, even as Kisuke lifts the rim of his hat from his eyes, waving lazily. "Oh, Suì-chan, good evening! How nice of you to join us."

Tessai gives a nod. "Ah, yes, how are you, Suì Fēng-taicho?"

The captain greets them back with that same, stern expression— which may be more effective if her hand isn't in Yoruichi's. When she tries to pull away, Yoruichi doesn't let her. _Doesn't let her go. _She's aware that it's a grave mistake she's made before, one she doesn't plan on making again.

"Yoruichi-sama—" The younger girl begins, her face a mixture of embarrassment and confusion, however the Shihouin cuts her off, muttering so that only she can hear,

"Sit beside me." On her right side. Her right side, her right hand just like she's been previously. Just to bring back that feeling, that feeling she used to love, that feeling of peace, true happiness.

Suì Fēng nods mutely, palms already sweating in hers. In a way, this disappoints her, as, once upon a time, 101 years ago, they've come passed this stage, passed it to something more beautiful, something where Suì Fēng is actually comfortable with her, where they can do much more than hold hands without Suì getting too flustered.

Their relationship has only skipped backward a few steps. _But of course_. They're worlds apart now, one in the land of the living, the other in the land of the dead, one in exile, the other living in honor.

Yoruichi grips her hand tighter and they take a seat, side by side, so close, one may as well be in the other's lap.

Dinner is fine, full of good food, a little sake, and lively conversation, however Yoruichi can't wait for it to be over. She doesn't like to share anything that belongs to her with others, Suì Fēng included.

How she guzzles down her meal, not as ravenous as she portrays, but just to finish up, nudging the girl next to her to do the same, who merely gives her a dull "_Are you serious_?" expression.

Yoruichi isn't as offended as she can be because she knows this is how Suì Fēng is when in front of others, not her little bee, but a bee in general, sting, sting, _sting_.

And it hurts. A little. Despite that it's only a facade, so she still finds herself thinking, _Yes, yes, I'm serious. The next time I'll see you will be in half another year, so _damn it_, I'm serious._

Her dish is spotless before anyone else's, although this isn't quite extraordinary. She's Shunshin Yoruichi even in eating.

Tessai quirks an eyebrow. "Seconds, Yoruichi-san?"

"No!" She stands quickly. "But thanks anyway. Your culinary skills are wonderful as usual, Tessai." She excuses herself, steals Suì Feng's bowl, despite that there's still a lone carrot rolling around, and dumps it into the sink. The captain shoots her a look which is blatantly ignored. "Follow me, Suì."

And Suì Fēng is following her, she notices with a small sense of satisfaction, of relief. Suì Fēng will still follow her anywhere.

They're outside now, caressed by the gentle, evening air, but she's still walking away from Urahara Shoten, away from prying eyes, away from nosy ears. Somewhere far. Full of privacy. Where no one can bother them and where she can intoxicate herself, inebriate herself with the strong liquor known as _love_ so that—

"You're doing it again."

It isn't the voice that startles her; it's the disapproval present. Yoruichi tenses, however her stride does not waver.

"Doing what, exactly?" Cheerful. Cheerful is her voice, cheerful and perhaps an underlying warning that she wants this conversation to be cheerful as well.

Suì Fēng, apparently chooses not to acquiesce. "Acting like I'm going to die before the night is over."

Now Yoruichi stops in her tracks. Something burns in the corner of her eyes. How she hates this feeling. How she hates the poorly veiled tremor in her words as she quietly replies, "You may as well be."

The other girl doesn't respond, though Yoruichi can hear her approaching, can see the conviction within her silver eyes before she can feel her lips on hers, soft, warm and what she has been craving for six months too long.

Their figures mold together, but it's only brief, as Suì Fēng pulls away much too soon.

Yoruichi pants, "Suì, please don't—", cut short when a finger is placed against her mouth. How she'll like to run her tongue all over it.

Grey eyes glint with the rascality missing from her golden orbs, along with the certain presence of desire and a hint of a plea. "Catch me?"

The Shihouin blinks at her before she's hit with realization, before the formation of a foxy grin. This game. _Their_ game played every time Suì Fēng's over for just the night.

"You wanna head start?"

Something in those stormy eyes tell her that she _wants_ to be caught. "I don't need it." And she's gone, leaping building to building, captain's cloak crackling in the sudden wind.

Yoruichi's impulse is just as fast, so the moment Suì disappears, she does too.

_Fwoop. Fwoop. Fwoop. _The neat thing about her Little Bee is how silent she is. Her footfalls don't make a noise. Her breaths don't make a sound. _Fwoop. Fwoop. Fwoop._ It's only the air as she tear through it. Which makes it rather hard to track her because it's not like she can with the noise alone— she can't tell the roaring in her ears apart from the howling she's causing or what Suì's causing.

Ahead of her, naught but a few meters, Suì Fēng stops lightly on the roof of a house for what she can't even call second before taking a new step, abruptly changing direction.

Yoruichi merely smirks at this. Challenges are her favorite.

She pauses herself, pivots on her heel and pushes off from the fence beneath her, her speed renewed, the rapid wind whipping her hair across her cheeks, making it sting, but _oh_, how she loves this, this sense of freedom, of unrestraint.

How she loves to be Shunshin Yoruichi. How she loves Suì Fēng for letting her play this game, for allowing her to remember who she is, that she hasn't lost at least _this _back when she lost her previous life.

Her smirk softens as she unconsciously speeds up. Honestly. _She does love this girl_.

She's so close now. So close that it amplifies the yearning in her heart, so close that she outstretches a fumbling hand, only for her fingers to brush the fabric of the haori. It comes off in her grasp with a second swipe, however Suì Fēng isn't in it. Instead, she's dancing away, twin braids fluttering, and Yoruichi can't help but admire the beautiful rippling of the muscles in her now-exposed back, how toned and agile a person she is.

Her next grab doesn't miss because this time, she lunges forward, latching her arms around her Little Bee's middle. Suì Fēng stops, right here in this familiarly grassy plain, possibly because she knows this maneuver means to stop. Game over. No "You're it!"And it's always like this with Yoruichi when she's _it_ and _because_ it's always like this is why she loves being _it_ so much— so she can catch Suì in a way that she likes, to wrap her arms around her waist from behind, hug her close, lips to her ear: "I love you."

She's failed really, at muffling the despair in her voice, which is maybe why Suì Fēng turns to kiss her, to remind her that she isn't gone yet, that they still have time left before her duties have to become more important than Yoruichi.

Yes, they kiss, but again, the shorter woman withdraws too quickly.

Yoruichi is tired of this. She moves in close, but Suì Fēng slips away for the third time. Through her teeth passes a growl of agitation and hurt.

"You won't kiss me properly!"

"You won't say 'I love you' properly," comes the captain's even response with a tilt of her head. Her face is a mask, but there's still this noticeably soft look in her eyes, still this nearly weary note in her tone. "You can't say you love me when you think about me leaving you, Yoruichi-sama." She takes a step forward and Yoruichi is grateful that she's allowed to at least rest her hands on Suì's hips, feel her through the thinness of her Onmitsukido uniform. "Say you love me when you think about me _now_." Her arms slither invitingly around the Shihouin's neck, yet Yoruichi learns to wait, gold locked intently with silver. "Say you love me when you see me now, right here before you, and think nothing of what's to come, for it doesn't matter. I'm always with you."

Dark lashes lower over grey eyes, and Yoruichi reads her correctly this time: _Come here_.

She's too happy to oblige, except, she doesn't, really, pulling Suì Fēng into her. _No, you come here_.

And they fall, though it's gracefully, a light tumble into wispy blades of grass below, Yoruichi on her knees, hovering above a flushed Suì Fēng, and this is sincerely how she prefers it to be. This is _truly_ kissing— when her lover's chest rises and falls against hers, when fingers run through her hair, along her body, and when she's being touched like someone cherished, someone loved, by someone loved. This feeling, she lets it embrace her, allows it to fill her with the warmth that's been missing for half a year.

"Sleep with me tonight," she murmurs breathily into her lover's jaw after a split-second pause. "Out here. Please."

Suì Fēng's nodding, blushing, tilting her head back, allowing the kisses to move to her throat, even as she says, "It'll be chilly, Yoruichi-sama."

"Not if you're where you're supposed to be."

"And where is that?"

"In my arms."

" . . . I knew you were going to say that."

"Yes, and," Yoruichi pulls her lips away, lowering herself until their foreheads meet, until their eyes lock, "I want you to stay there until the sun rises, if not longer. Okay?"

"Yoruichi-sama . . . ." It's sighed sympathetically and pale thumb trails gingerly down the curve of said woman's cheek. "Alright."

In her contentment, the flash goddess gives Suì Fēng a squeeze, inhaling deeply the scent of her hair. "I know. I know I'm impossible, yet I want these sensations to last for as long as they can."

"Yoruichi-sama," the captain's voice is disarmingly firm as she entangles their fingers, "these sensations will last forever."

And Yoruichi smiles, something watery, though heartfelt all the same, because this it. Just these traded assurances, the heat, emotions they share whenever alone in each other's company . . . this is what she wants to remember. Not the dread eating her away, just this. Lying here with her.

With her eyes fluttering closed, and the cool, night breeze stroking her cheeks, she utters earnestly, full of conviction, "I love you, Suì Fēng."

The slightest graze of a kiss. "I love you, too."

Suì Fēng says this, yes, but the next morning, while the first golden streaks of sunlight burst through the clouds and into Yoruichi's eyes, she's startled awake, instantly detecting the warmth missing from her side. An empty space of slightly matted grass where someone loved once lay. An empty, hollow feeling in her heart too, alongside the wrenching pain . . . .

She sits up rather difficultly, (why is she feeling so heavy, as if there is a tremendous weight bearing down on her shoulders?) scanning the barren field of grass for what is lost. For what can fill the void, if only for a moment.

_Is this what abandonment feels like_? Is honestly what she wonders each time Suì leaves her again.

_If so . . ._ She lowers her head to her hands, distressed._ I understand. I understand now and I'm so sorry, Suì Fēng . . . I've been such an evil, evil woman_.

_A/N: Yes, I wrote this. Even though I'm aware that Yoruichi can drop by the Soul Society at anytime for no real reason, as seen in Ep. 312. And I'm sure Suì Fēng doesn't have to work so hard that she can't visit the living world. I just needed some angsssst, so, yeah . . . visits only every six months. Anyway, yay for another Yoruichi POV! Review please?_


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